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Tanning Fail.

July 22, 2011
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Last week I went to the tanning salon to start the process of evening out some of my tan lines. 6 minutes in bed #4. A small amount of time in the world of tanning.  Extremely normal day.

Today turned out much differently. 7 minutes in bed #4. I put on the same lotion as always and lay down to the sounds of fans and pop music. With 2 minutes left I notice that my back feels much hotter than normal. Hum, must be because it’s so hot outside and therefore also inside, I reasoned. With 1 minute to go my whole backside begins to tingle. And then the tingle turns to pain. Lots of pain. I get out 30 seconds early. Wtf? I quickly get dressed and head to the washroom to check out my back in the mirror. It’s fucking fire-engine red. And so is the backs of my arms, thighs and ass. Holy Shit! For me, if I burn it takes hours to come out usually. If this was a sunburn it would be bad, so very bad.

I go up to the front to talk to the staff and completely interrupt another customer mid-sentence. I’m freaking out. Have the bulbs been changed? Am I having an allergic reaction to something? Is this a sunburn? I show her my back. She thinks for a moment and says “it’s hot lotion.” Um, please explain. They (is. she) must not have cleaned the tanning bed properly. Apparently you can buy lotion that is, well, hot. Something about blood vessels and better tanning. People pay for this? Maybe I have sensitive skin because it fucking hurts. No really, pain. The redness and pain should go away in an hour or two. 2 fucking hours? I leave without asking for a refund. Must take shower. It later dawns on me the hygiene implications and I’m a little unnerved.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. July 17, 2012 6:51 pm

    i dont do tanning salons..my friend got major skin cancer and got lice from a booth once. yes lice can live for 24 hrs on a object..gross right?!!

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